I was asked the other day to go “commission” a system that involved over a dozen wireless mics. It was a great customer, and he just wanted to make sure that he got everything right for his client. So I hopped in the car go to “commission.”
“Commission” seems to be a word with many meanings. It is how reps like me get paid. It is what happens when you get to be an officer in the armed forces. And it has something to do with AV. But what that something is, well that is unknown. It is unknowable.
In this case, Commissioning involved me using my phone as a flashlight a lot. It also involved me using my car-keys as a box cutter (TSA has my multi-tool).
So, I commissioned the system. I took the transmitters out of the boxes. I put them into the charging bays. I tried to find all the stuff on the network, but quickly determined that the terminations were bad. So, for me, on a Thursday afternoon, commissioning meant opening up 20 sealed boxes… stacking up the documentation, putting the packaging material neatly back in the boxes…all using my phone flashlight and my car keys as a knife. I did look at some drawings, and that reminded me that this was AV. Yes. I commissioned the holy heck out of that system.
The bottom line is that this rep is not so bright. I will go do dumb things for customers as long as they call it commissioning. Toilet clogged? Call Hood. Tell him he needs to come commission the toilet. Did your car get a flat? Hood will commission your tire.
The good thing is that when my factories call and ask what I am up to, I say “I’m super busy commissioning systems!”